New: Identity, Queerness, and Softness and How We Stay Human in a World That Often Rewards Hardness

From A Title Suggested by Samu

Image from GOOGLE Images

I wrote this at the request of fellow Substacker Samu for him to use on his page. I am also posting it here after he does. Thanks, Samu, for the motivation to write about my thoughts on the topic. You wove many of my ideas into your essay so artfully, and I am grateful for having been invited.

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I believe that truth is scattered all around us, and if we search hard enough, we will find it. I believe that we need to want to see it to find it. I believe that we need to learn how to tune out the “noise” of the world around us and listen carefully for what we truly believe to be true. I also believe in magic!

Certainly today, a separation from realizing that we are one and all want basically the same things for ourselves, is in full bloom with trump and his minions who are fanning the flames of hate and fear in the U.S. with evidence of much of the world.

According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which he developed in 1943, we all have PHYSIOLOGICAL needs like food, shelter, clothing, sleep and more which are required for survival; SAFETY needs like personal security, a safe environment in which to live, the ability to afford to live well, and more which are required for personal security and predictability; LOVE and BELONGING including family, friends, sense of community, affection, and more which provides social connection and acceptance; ESTEEM as in self-respect, self-confidence, recognition and more which deals again with recognition and respect; and SELF-ACTUALIZATION as in personal growth, meaning, purpose, joy, and more which deals with realizing one’s full potential.

Maybe what we all have in common, more simply said, is that we are all different, and when that is understood and accepted and respected (and I believe in some ways some people have been working on this since the beginning of time,) we can work together, respect our differences, and learn from each other.

In my writing, to allow my readers to know from where I am coming, I periodically divulge that I am a white, cis, gay, male who is retired, an octogenarian, Jewish, Buddhist, financially comfortable, and privileged by birth.

I add that I am an advocate for and ally to those currently under attack and/or being overlooked, especially the Transgender Community, Black and Brown People, immigrants, the elderly, the poor, and the homeless!

I also add that I am many things to many people so my life needs to set a positive, loving, healing energy: I am a husband, a son, a brother, a nephew, a grandson, an uncle, a great uncle, a grand great uncle, a cousin, a god-father, a great god-father, a great grand god-father, a friend, an educator, a writer, a poet, an actor, a spiritual guide, a stranger walking down the street, and more.

I have made it a practice to end every comment I make in response to those who make replies to my writing with “Fondly”, my way of fostering and reminding myself to be caring for all others with openness, respect, trust, and honesty.

I wear a Mala Necklace, with its ceremonial 109 number of beads, wrapped around my wrist. The Mala, prayer beads, or Rosaries are used by those who follow Islam, Roman Catholicism, Orthodox Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Bahá’í, to count the repetitions of mantras (sacred phrases), Shabads (prayers or hymns), chants, or devotions. I wear mint to remind me each day to live my life with dignity, compassion, generosity for others, and to be non-judgmental in all things.